The Air Affair

Aviation Quotes

Today we crossed Nebraska in 7 minutes. I think that's the best way to cross Nebraska.

SR-71 pilot's logbook

Flying is the art of learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Flying an aeroplane with only a single propeller to keep you in the air. Can you imagine that?

Jean-Luc Picard, Captain U.S.S. Enterprise D

Come back, come back, back to Jamaica
Don't you know we made a big mistaika
We would be so sad if you told us goodbye
And we promise not to shoot you out of the sky!

"Jamaica Mistaika" by Jimmy Buffett

A superior pilot uses his superior judgment to avoid situations that would require the use of his superior skills.

Little airplanes are not very safe. I don't feel comfortable in them. You can be out of control real fast.

Jim Neilson, owner and driver of the 380-mile-per-hour jet-powered dragster car "Jet Limo"

If you have difficulty reading these instructions, please inform a flight attendant.

FAA-approved placard over an airliner emergency exit

The pilots said our standards and regulations were very unclear, and didn't contribute to air safety. We followed up with focus groups of commercial pilots, mechanics, and general aviation pilots. They all said the same thing! They can't understand what we write. That's startling information!

FAA Plain Language Initiative web site
(See the original quote in the Internet Achives version)

Strive for simplicity. You never have to fix what you leave out.

Bill Lear, founder of Lear Aircraft

Flying is the second-greatest thrill on earth. Landing is the first.

Learn from the mistakes of others; you will never live long enough to make them all yourself.

1/3 of the Earth is covered by land. 2/3 is covered by water. All of it is covered by air. Isn't it time you learned to fly?

Cessna magazine ad in Popular Science

The F-14 Tomcat: America's proof that given a big enough engine, even a brick can fly.

Takeoffs are optional; landings are mandatory.

If God had meant for man to fly, He would have given him more money.

Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity, or neglect.

Helicopter: 10,000 spare parts flying in close formation.

Airplane: a mechanical device that enables an otherwise sensible person to travel up into the air and down into debt.

Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

Just keep looking around; there's always something you've missed.

If you can't leave your worries at home, stay there with them.

There are three simple rules for making perfect landings every time. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

"Is this old airplane safe? Well, my dear, how do you think it got to be this old?"

You're not a real pilot until you've taken a bus home.

'Tis better to arrive late in this world than early in the next.

The worst day of flying still beats the best day of real work.

Before attempting to beat the odds, be sure you can can survive the odds beating you.

A thunderstorm is Nature's way of saying, "Up yours."

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

Harlan Ellison

I wish the real world would just stop hasslin' me.

Matchbox 20